I want to have your abortion
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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