Got a toothbrush?
Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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