Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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