Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
