She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
