So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
