Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
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