It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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