billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
