And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
