weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
These tits shall not be calmed
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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