remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
