u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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