I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
