just come out here and I will go home with you...
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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