FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
