Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
Randomize
