i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
