I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
