I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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