the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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