i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
We named our party play list daddy issues
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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