Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Randomize
