You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
