Already got asked if we're dating
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize