hotel room ftw
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
