we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
