before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
