i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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