We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
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