I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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