i may or may not be watching the land before time
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
