Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
