Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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