my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
