Texts From Last Night

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  (721): View more from

  That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.

  (703): View more from Virginia

  omg, i know.

  (721): View more from

  we're too high.

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  (721): That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure. (703): omg, i know. (721): we're too high. http://tfl.nu/fbyr
  Replies (26) Good night (1680) Bad night (610)
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  (641): View more from Iowa

  TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY

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  (641): TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY http://tfl.nu/5weu
  Replies (8) Good night (2376) Bad night (1314)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day

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  (605): My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day http://tfl.nu/e7q8
  Replies (5) Good night (2260) Bad night (2573)
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  (903): View more from Texas

  Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.

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  (903): Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high. http://tfl.nu/bi94
  Replies (6) Good night (1461) Bad night (729)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.

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  (248): He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that. http://tfl.nu/b2kf
  Replies (5) Good night (2412) Bad night (1004)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.

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  (+44): Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace. http://tfl.nu/pdfz
  Replies (7) Good night (1850) Bad night (646)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.

  (912): View more from Georgia

  Do you need my fax number or something?

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  (912): There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow. (912): Do you need my fax number or something? http://tfl.nu/ynqo
  Replies (18) Good night (1663) Bad night (1292)
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  (646): View more from New York

  People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.

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  (646): People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home. http://tfl.nu/e0ck
  Replies (8) Good night (1405) Bad night (555)
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  (737): View more from Texas

  Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.

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  (737): Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner. http://tfl.nu/o0od
  Replies (5) Good night (1552) Bad night (769)
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  (408): View more from California

  tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????

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  (408): tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ???? http://tfl.nu/bwh4
  Replies (2) Good night (1692) Bad night (670)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has

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  (860): Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has http://tfl.nu/jd7y
  Replies (2) Good night (865) Bad night (517)
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  (619): View more from California

  The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it

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  (619): The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it http://tfl.nu/3uov
  Replies (8) Good night (1331) Bad night (499)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?

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  (403): I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was? http://tfl.nu/kb90
  Replies (0) Good night (647) Bad night (285)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.

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  (314): I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either. http://tfl.nu/ocw7
  Replies (1) Good night (411) Bad night (215)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back

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  (724): I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back http://tfl.nu/kzml
  Replies (0) Good night (325) Bad night (128)

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