Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow