someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.