I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.