What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Too much gin, very little bucket
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..