I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.