we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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