Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
