just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
