you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
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Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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