i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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