sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
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