Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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