last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
