dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
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So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
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