The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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