And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
