you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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