I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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