Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
