Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
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