Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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