How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
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