I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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