Jerry, you need to find god
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
