I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize