i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Randomize
